My TOUR-ISM: CRITICAL ITINERARIES class is supposed to be taking a day trip to GARY, INDIANA in the next week or two. This of course is the birthplace of MICHAEL JACKson. (Incidentally, this is also the class with the wryly comedic instructor who likes to play CRICKETS and CATHEDRAL BELLS after writing exercises.) I used to like travel when I was younger. I UNFORTUNATELY HAVEN’T BEEN DOING IT MUCH IN RECENT YEARS.

I HAVE A LOT TO SAY ON THIS AND I’D REALLY LIKE TO WORK ON WRITING BUT INSTEAD I’M ON THE INTERNET AND I CAN’T CONCENTRATE TO WRITE LIKE MYSELF.


THIS IS ALL GOING TO GO IN SOMETHING CALLED SOMETHING LIKE

“HEY I REALLY LIKE TALKING TO YOU BUT I WRITE A LOT MORE SENTENCES BY CHOICE BECAUSE I WANT TO WRITE ESSAYS AND PLAYS. WOULD YOU MIND IF WE COULD TALK DIRECTLY FOR REALZ ON DIRECT MESSAGES OR IN PERSON OR VIA PHONE OR TEXT OR SKYPE IF YOU ARE MY SPECIAL FRIEND(Z) INSTEAD OF I EXPLAIN THIS LIKE THIS? BECAUSE I DON’T REALLY LIKE THIS WRITING STYLE FOR MYSELF.”

IN FACT, WHY DON’T I MAKE THIS THE TAGLINE OF A TUMBLR AND THEN I WRITE THESE FUNNY THINGS QUICKLY BUT ALSO

MEN USE THE PHONE? WOULD BE AWESOME.

AND I CAN WRITE PRIVATELY INSTEAD OF JUST THIS? BECAUSE THIS MAKES ME REALLY SAD TO WRITE LIKE THIS. EXCEPT WHEN I MAKE GREAT JOKES AND IT IS FUNNY AND MAKES FUN BUT EXCEPT I WRITE IN ANOTHER STYLE TOO AND I CAN’T BECAUSE I’M REALLY SAD THAT MY BODY WANTS TO PERFORM “PERFORMANCE ART” AND “DO WEB-BASED WORK”.

I AM NOT CRYING NOW. JUST WRITING IN ALL CAPS. FOR EM-PHA-SIS.